holywood model: April 2023

My heart was racing and my head was faint. <I>Don't touch me</I>, I thought. This inner voice was a stark wake-up call when I came home from a work trip to Indonesia and recoiled from my husband's embrace. At the time, I was reeling in sadness and confusion because I was contending with the inner turmoil of almost cheating on him. Even though I was now in his presence, I felt more distant from him than ever before. <br><br>But first, let's be kind and rewind: I'm a freelance journalist who was tasked to fly out to Southeast Asia to write about a wellness resort. I was drawn to this assignment because I myself have a two decade history of mental health issues that include depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder—so, naturally, I was curious about this resort's methodologies and immersive on-site workshops. While this was a place of self-care and therapy, I met a man who was one of the guests there (we'll call him

Over the next week, there was a magnetism and undeniable attraction between him and I. The other guests would go as far as tease him about how he had a crush on me. I also couldn't help but notice how he would steal glances my way, blush, and smile at me in a playful manner. Our bond was immediate, and I admittedly enjoyed every minute of his company. His wit and boyish charms mirrored my husband's personality, but the ante was upped in this particular scenario because he had an accent (like so many others, I've always had a thing for men with accents). Because I was here for work, I certainly wasn't seeking this kind of interaction—but since I had been on the road for two and a half weeks (I had just flown in from Hong Kong), I latched onto his kindness and familiar demeanor. It was innocent at first—I was lonely, overworked, and missed my better half—but soon, it evolved into something more." title="My heart was racing and my head was faint. Don't touch me, I thought. This inner voice was a stark wake-up call when I came home from a work trip to Indonesia and recoiled from my husband's embrace. At the time, I was reeling in sadness and confusion because I was contending with the inner turmoil of almost cheating on him. Even though I was now in his presence, I felt more distant from him than ever before.

But first, let's be kind and rewind: I'm a freelance journalist who was tasked to fly out to Southeast Asia to write about a wellness resort. I was drawn to this assignment because I myself have a two decade history of mental health issues that include depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder—so, naturally, I was curious about this resort's methodologies and immersive on-site workshops. While this was a place of self-care and therapy, I met a man who was one of the guests there (we'll call him "Bali Man")—and yes, I'm totally aware of the irony here.

Over the next week, there was a magnetism and undeniable attraction between him and I. The other guests would go as far as tease him about how he had a crush on me. I also couldn't help but notice how he would steal glances my way, blush, and smile at me in a playful manner. Our bond was immediate, and I admittedly enjoyed every minute of his company. His wit and boyish charms mirrored my husband's personality, but the ante was upped in this particular scenario because he had an accent (like so many others, I've always had a thing for men with accents). Because I was here for work, I certainly wasn't seeking this kind of interaction—but since I had been on the road for two and a half weeks (I had just flown in from Hong Kong), I latched onto his kindness and familiar demeanor. It was innocent at first—I was lonely, overworked, and missed my better half—but soon, it evolved into something more.">

I Almost Cheated On My Husband—And, Ultimately, It Saved My Marriage

My heart was racing and my head was faint. Don't touch me, I thought. This inner voice was a stark wake-up call when I came home from a work trip to Indonesia and recoiled from my husband's embrace. At the time, I was reeling in sadness and confusion because I was contending with the inner turmoil of almost cheating on him. Even though I was now in his presence, I felt more distant from him than ever before.

But first, let's be kind and rewind: I'm a freelance journalist who was tasked to fly out to Southeast Asia to write about a wellness resort. I was drawn to this assignment because I myself have a two decade history of mental health issues that include depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder—so, naturally, I was curious about this resort's methodologies and immersive on-site workshops. While this was a place of self-care and therapy, I met a man who was one of the guests there (we'll call him "Bali Man")—and yes, I'm totally aware of the irony here.

Over the next week, there was a magnetism and undeniable attraction between him and I. The other guests would go as far as tease him about how he had a crush on me. I also couldn't help but notice how he would steal glances my way, blush, and smile at me in a playful manner. Our bond was immediate, and I admittedly enjoyed every minute of his company. His wit and boyish charms mirrored my husband's personality, but the ante was upped in this particular scenario because he had an accent (like so many others, I've always had a thing for men with accents). Because I was here for work, I certainly wasn't seeking this kind of interaction—but since I had been on the road for two and a half weeks (I had just flown in from Hong Kong), I latched onto his kindness and familiar demeanor. It was innocent at first—I was lonely, overworked, and missed my better half—but soon, it evolved into something more.

READ MORE