In December, I went to the doctor's office thinking I had the flu. It was peak season, and I had all the usual symptoms: vomiting, dizziness, and a bad headache. It turned out I was nine weeks pregnant.
When I got the results, I knew immediately that I wanted an abortion—specifically, a medication abortion. I've struggled with anxiety my entire life, including in medical settings, and too often, routine doctors' visits have resulted in panic attacks or fainting. Even with anxiety medication—and despite knowing that in-clinic abortion procedures are common and safe—it would have been nearly impossible for me to go alone to get one. In order to have someone come with me to a clinic for the procedure, I would have had to tell my parents or friends, something I wasn't comfortable doing yet. Instead, I was grateful to have the option to take the abortion pills, mifepristone and misoprostol, at home—a way to make this painful experience more bearable.
At the time, I desperately wanted support, but I was worried about how it would be perceived. I felt irresponsible and ashamed. I didn't want it to hurt my relationship with my family, friends, or my current boyfriend, whom I had met around the time of my abortion.
Of all places, I never thought I would bring it up at work. I'm the deputy communications director for Congressman Ro Khanna, and on Capitol Hill, it often feels like there is immense pressure to be professional—and even perfect—both at work and outside of it. |
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